(SCREAMING)
(JUNGLE-STYLE MUSIC)
(SCREAM)
(RADlO ON - BLARING POP SONG)
(TAP SQUEAKS)
(RADlO MUSIC CONTINUES)
(ALARM BUZZES)
(WHEELS WHIRRING)
(WHIRR OF BIKE WHEELS)
(MECHANISM WHINES)
Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha!
You missed! You missed this time, you little menace!
l beat you!
Morning.
- You're getting upset over nothing! - l'm not.
A nice breakfast will cheer you up.
l'm not getting upset over...
What is that (?)
- It's bacon. - l know it's bacon.
What have you done to it?
You said you didn't like the grease from fried bacon. So l boiled it.
(RADlO - POP MUSIC)
What is Lane doing up at this hour on a Sunday?
Doesn't he turn to dust if the sun hits him?
lt's ty-outs for the ski team. He's going to Mount Brodie with Beth.
Sure, he can't do anything without that girl.
l tell you, Jenny, that boy is obsessed.
Now, honey... Obsessed?
Do we not throw empty things away?
Oh.
What in the name of all that's holy...?
Badger likes the prizes you get from cutting the coupons out.
- He's mailing them today. - Can't you wait until...?
Lane, the closet door can be closed as well as opened.
Ooh!
- Sory, Dad. - Lane, your breakfast is getting cold.
Thanks. l can't have breakfast. l got trials today.
l don't want to throw up again.
l had to buy that guy a new hat Iast time. Bye, Dad.
Lane!
l would like to meet you tonight to discuss the future of that vehicle,
which you purchased months ago, yet has darkened our drive ever since.
Noted. Talk to you tonight. Gotta pick up Beth.
(SIGHS)
Ricm! Ricm!
Ricm! Don't be so shy! Come here.
Monique, this is Ricm.
Ricm, this is Monique, the French student who'll be staying with us.
(GARGLED SNORT)
Ah!
lt's an awesome spectacle,
an audacious display of seething opponents,
once again, parallel,
in an obstinate attempt to prove superiority of the roads,
unequalled in our lifetime.
The crowds swell with anticipation as the lights turn green!
You stupid bonehead! You idiot!
- Sir... - Get out of this car!
lf he asks me, l'll go out with him.
l mean, he skis the K-12.
Yeah, he's so boss!
Lane? l'll tell him after trials. You know how he gets when he gets upset.
Yeah...from the chairlifts! He had to buy the guy a new hat last time.
(CAR HORN)
Lane's here. l gotta go. l'll call you later. Bye.
He's the only person that's skied the K-1 2 from the glacier and lived.
Man! What a hunk!
Your time has to be under 58 seconds to even be considered for the team.
Your time will be gauged along with a rating of one to ten on your style,
judged solely by me and my vast expertise of skiing technique.
Why don't you sory-looking hopefuls make your way up the hill?
The girls can keep me company till it's time for you to take the track.
Who'd like to...hold my clipboard?
What's your name?
- Charles De Mar. - Shut up, geek. What's your name?
- Beth. - That's my favourite name.
- Roy Stalin. How you doing? - Lane Myer.
You and l share one common desire,
to be part of the well-oiled machiney that is Greendale School Ski Team.
The desire for victoy!
- Well... - Let's see what you got!
- Ready up there? - We're all set.
- What is the next victim's name? - Myer, Lane Myer.
- Is that as in Oscar Mayer? - That's a roger.
Beth, you were standing with Oscar. Is he your main wiener man?
Don't listen to Stalin, kid. He's a punk. Now you show him.
Show him how a skier really skis.
- We're sending him down. - Counting down.
Drei, frei, go!
Too bad. Real close. Next.
(BETH) Lane, l thínk we should talk. We've been seeíng a lot of each other.
lt's ín my ínterests to go out wíth someone more popular,
better-lookíng, dríves a nícer car.
Six months! Six months, and she just dumps me for him.
For Stalin, just like that! Six months!
Truly a sight to behold. A man, beaten.
The once great champ, now a study in moppishness.
No longer the victoy-hungy stallion we've raced so many times before,
but a pathetic, washed-up, aged ex-champion.
All right, let's go!
Someone gonna see God.
l want to break your goddamn neck! Get out! Get out of the car!
- Hello, Lane. How was your day? - Beth broke up with me.
- That's nice. - We're through. That's it.
What the hell? Wait a minute here.
Wait, this is death here.
l haven't even been to New York City. l haven't been anywhere!
Suicide is never the answer, little trooper.
Greendale is a small town, Lane.
lt's a fly speck on the map on the way to a ski slope.
l can't even get real drugs here!
Stalin's a hero, the only one who can ski the K-1 2.
You're a great skier, but he's incredible.
lf l skied the K-12, do you think she'd take me back?
Now l'm back to suicide again.
(MOM) We're all goíng to enjoy thís treat.
l got the recipe from the ''Ladies' Home Journal''.
The mail got wet, so some of the pages ran together.
l improvised with my own little ideas.
You see, it's got...raisins in it.
You like raisins!
There is still one more thing l'd like to discuss with Lane.
The subiect here...
...is the mystey car...
Thank you.
...which, even as we speak, darkens our domain under a mouldy tarp.
- You know the car of which l speak? - Yeah...
Let me refresh your memoy. Cast your mind back.
lt's a crisp September morning.
You borrowed $200 to purchase the car,
because your girlfriend Beth said it was...
l believe the term was ''tasty''.
Since then, that ''tasty'' car has slept in an auto-cocoon
on my front lawn!
l'll get around to it.
Lane, have you seen the student who's staying at the Smiths' house?
Go over and welcome her to our town. She'd like that.
Mrs Smith probably got her so that her weird son could see a real girl!
He never goes outdoors, just sits in that house and crochets all day.
The Chapmans had their student for six months.
- He became a son to Jules and Irene. - That kid from El Salvador?
Can l be excused? l'm not feeling well.
l'm iust gonna be excused.
l can't figure it out, Badger.
You seem smart. Why do you waste your time with this kid stuff?
You're almost eight.
OK.
Beth... It was love at first sight.
Red Dog, Red Dog! 92! 74! 16! 43! Bring it home, Momma!
- Hi. - Hi.
- So, how do you like Greendale? - Fine.
- You find the school system adequate? - School hasn't started yet.
She ítched her nose. A message to me that there was somethíng on my nose?
That's funny. He wíped hís nose after l díd.
Maybe l got some dírt on my nose. He's too embarrassed to tell me!
l must look síckeníngt
There she goes agaín! What could ít be? Relísh on my nose?
How gross! She míght thínk ít's a... Oh, not that, please!
Please don't let ít be a booger. Please, God!
l don't get it. How could she throw away six months?
l mean, six months, iust like that!
No explanation, no reason. Just... Just throw it away!
How can you throw away six months?
When you're...in love with someone...
Six months! l'm histoy! Just like that, l'm gone.
She's probably just testing me. Big test. That's probably it.
- (DOORBELL) - That's her. That's her!
- Johnny... - Four weeks.
Twenty papers. That's two dollars, plus tip.
l don't have a dime. Sory.
l didn't ask for a dime! Two dollars!
Well, it's funny.
My mom had to leave early to take my brother to school.
Two dollars...cash!
The problem is that my little brother got an arm caught in the microwave.
My grandmother dropped acid and freaked out
and hiiacked a bus full of penguins.
lt's kind of a family crisis, so come back later. Great.
(CAR RADlO: ''BREAKING UP ls HARD To Do__)
m Breakíng up ís hard to do... m
m Don't take your love... m
m And she's gone... m
m fífty ways to leave your lover... m
# It hurts so bad... #
# They say that breakíng up ís hard to do... #
The three cardínal, trape_oídal formatíons,
hereto made oríentable ín our díagram
by connectíng the varíous poínts, HIGK, PEGQ and LMNO,
creating our geometric configurations,
which have no properties, but with location...
(ALL) Aah!
...are equal to the described triangle CAB quintuplicated.
Therefore.. .
...the five triangles composing the aforementioned NIGH
each are equal to the triangle CAB in this geometric concept!
Therefore, in a like manner,
the geometric metaphors can derive a repeated vectoral sum.
This was your assignment.
l would like to see the results, please.
Take them out!
Oops.
- Sophia... - Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Oh, please! - And...Buster.
- Me! Me! Please! - And...Beth.
- And... - Oh, please, please, please!
Mr Myer. Please join us at the blackboard
and show us your solution to this palty geometric dilemma.
- (SCREECH) - (ALL) oh...!
Oh, sory.
Lane, would you relax?! It's just our virginity!
Oh, l agree, totally.
We should tell someone or do something or get my Dad's Polaroid.
- What was that? - What?
l heard something.
You're in the most secluded place in the northern hemisphere. We're alone.
Come on.
- What's wrong? - That thing l put on me, it broke.
Broke? It broke?!
- Take it easy, l'll buy a new one. - l don't want a new one!
l'm sory!
(BELL)
(ALL) Aw!
Now, now, now. l'll see you all tomorrow.
Remember to memorise pages 39 to 1 1 O for tomorrow's lesson.
- (ALL) All right! - Cool!
(GIRL) Mr Kerber really just makes geomety live.
Lane, listen. l've been thinking about what you told me last night.
- l've decided l'm going to help you. - How?
l've been going to this high school for seven and a half years.
l'm no dummy.
l know high-school girls.
Two things. One, how about your sax?
- l mean, Roy plays the guitar. - He does?
Yeah. You know, girls love that. Why don't you take up your sax again?
- Number two? - The K-1 2, dude.
You make a gnarly run like that
and girls will get sterile just looking at you.
Mr Myer, would you stay behind? l'd like a word with you.
- We'll do this. - Talk to you later.
- Lane... - Yes, sir?
- This is a bit awknrard. - Yes, sir.
Well... l've heard a few things and...
Well, l was wondering...
...if you would mind if l took out Beth.
(SLURPING)
(ROY) # And l love you so much
# 'Cause l met you in first grade... #
(GROWLS)
What díd you go and do that for?
Really, Lane, why? That's síck.
Sick? Beth, l love you. How could you dump me for him?
face ít, Lane. You're a n_show, a loss. You're ímmature.
You can't do a thíng by yourself. You're a spastíc nerve bag.
Besídes, Roy can skí the K-1 2.
How could l enjoy myself wíth you as a bo_ríend?
Any girl would be overwhelmed to go out with me.
Chrís Cummíns? You haven't a chance.
- She'd go out with me in a second. - Lísten.
Chrís dates the basketball team. Not certaín members, the whole teamt
Talk to her and you're dead.
- So just gíve ít up. - Yeah, Oscar Mayer. A fíne ídea.
l will not give it up, Beth! Some day you'll want me back!
Sory.
l'm gonna get some milk.
Just one milk. l'll be OK!
Watch this.
- Can l borrow these? - What's the big idea?
Buy yourself another leotard. l'll be back in a minute.
Excuse me.
(GROUP GRUNT)
l was thinking... You skate, l skate, we skate.
Maybe we could get together...
- You're a jerk. - ...and be a skating team.
- (BELL) - Chris, all l was saying was really...
See you later, guys!
(SHRIEKS)
(GRUNTS AND GROWLS)
- Lane! - What?
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
Yes, you are.
Buck up, little camper! We'll beat that slope together.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
l'm right behind you, buddy!
Ah-aah-aa...
Man, that's a real shame
when folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy!
lf l could get past this first lift, the rest would be a breeze.
l'm telling you, Charles... Charles?
- Charles... - Hold on, l'm onto something here!
This is pure snow!
lt's eveywhere! Do you know the street value of this mountain?
- Charles... - Wait a minute!
Aahh! Oh!
Outrageous!
l think l froze the left half of my brain!
- Look! l can't move my right arm! - Get serious.
Look, dude, it's Christmas Eve!
l could be home right now,
drinking this egg-nog my brother makes with lighter fluid.
You've been staring over that edge for hours. People die down there!
Dying when you're not really sick is really sick!
This is vey important to me!
lf l don't believe in myself, l'm nothing.
l'll be as bad as Ricm Smith, who snorts nasal spray. l gotta do it!
Nasal spray? Do you know where l can score some?
- Are you gonna help me? - All right!
l'll tell you what to do. Go that way...really fast.
lf something gets in your way, turn.
What a coach.
All right, l'm gonna do it.
Whaa-aa-aa...
Uh! Aah!
All right! Now turn!
(MUSIC: ''WINTER WONDERLAND'')
Hello, Beth. Hey, it's Christmas.
l was thinking maybe me and you could...
No, we didn't open our presents yet. You did?
The cutest thing ever?
From Roy.
A giant teddy bear bigger than you? Sounds great.
No, it really does sound good.
l gotta go. The Christmas tree's on fire.
m Later on we'II conspíre
m As we dream by the fíre
# To face unafraíd the plans that we made
# Walkín' ín a wínter wonderland... #
(BLEEPING)
Open this one next.
l remembered how much you liked the chocolate nut brownie.
Look, corn and seasoned sauce. He likes corn.
Ricm, don't be shy. Give her your present.
Come on, give her your present.
(MUSIC: ''HERE COMES sANTA cLAus__)
- Merci. - That's a Christmas present.
You have Christmas in France?
Christmas! Christ...mas!
Yeah, it's from Ricm.
You can take that wherever you go
to always remember your trip to the United States.
How come you're so small?
Now...eveyone's going to be wearing one of these this year.
What have you done?
lt's real aardvark fur.
Honey, it's sure...warm.
Now for the best part.
The hood!
- Eveybody's going to be wearing one? - Isn't it fun?
# We'll have lots of fun wíth míster snowman
# Untíl the other kíddíes knock hím down!
# When ít snows, aín't ít thríllín'... #
- What is it? - l'll show you soon. Almost there.
- Ready? - Yeah.
- OK? Ta-ra! - All right.
Al, you've fixed the windows! Oh, it's a Christmas miracle!
Wait a minute, Mr Bear, this is crazy! l bet we get her back.
Mery Christmas.
(TINNY MUSIC LEAKs FRom HEADpHoNEs)
(BELL)
Hi, Badger. Your book on how to pick up trashy women came today.
Tell me, what's a little boy like you doing with big-boy smut like this?
Hi, Lane. l know that we don't even know each other.
l know you were going out with Beth.
You're not going out with her any more.
Perhaps l could just be wíth her, go to the movíes...
Lane, can l talk to you for a moment?
- Yeah. - Come in and sit down, please.
- Sory about the garage. - Let me give you the bottom line.
lt would be beneficial if you would re-enter the sociological mainstream
by dating members of the opposite sex.
l want to date Beth.
You are going to start dating other girls, starting tonight.
At six o'clock, pick up Joanne Greenwald.
- Your law partner's daughter? - Yes.
- With the big antenna on her face? - Come on, Lane!
Mellow off. It's a brand-new year.
There's a New Year's Eve dance at school. You love this disco thing.
- Disco? Come on, Dad! - You are really...bringing me over!
Six o'clock.
- Right off. - On.
All right, Joanne Greenwald, you horrible thing.
Here's your chance to go out with a stud.
One night with me and she'll go blind with ecstasy.
l hope she doesn't grab my leg and start cying when the date's over.
(CAR RATTLES)
All right, Joanne Greenwald.
- (BELL) - (BARKINc)
- Hi, Joanne. - OK, let's get something straight.
l don't want to go out with you. This is a favour to my dad.
- l know you're happy to be with me. - Let's make it easy on ourselves.
We would've had dinner. Ten bucks apiece, unless you're a cheapskate.
l'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
We would've ordered double desserts. That's $22. Tax and tip, $25.
That makes a grand total of $26.37,
half of which is approximately $1 3.67.
Now, why don't you just give me that $1 3.67 and we'll call it a night?
- You take cheques? - Sure.
# You never know if you're the victim of a fool
# l only know l can't stop thinking 'bout you
# Your love was good And you take it on the run
# But l fell too hard And l guess l ain't the one
# Staring the night away Don't know where you are
# Calling out your name
# This crazy feeling l'm a one-way love... #
Want a sandwich?
Sure?
You got my vote for cutest couple!
Shave her a little closer before you kiss her goodnight!
(HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER)
# l've been searching evey day Tying to find another way
# l'd be better off dead Than to live without you #
(THUNDERCLAP)
# l'd rather be a fool l'd be lost with someone new
# l'd be better off dead Than to live without you
# l've been searching evey day Tying to find another way
# l'd be better off dead Than to live without you
# l'd rather be a fool...#
(CHEERING)
# l'd be better off dead Than to live without you
# Searching evey day Tying to find another way
# l'd be better off dead Than to live without you... #
(CAN'T GET WORDS OUT)
(CHEERS AND WHISTLES)
# You're the best thing That ever happened to me
# l knew right away l knew right away #
Mon Dieu! Je suis désolée!
lt's OK. l was planning on having my nose flattened by a professional.
Hi. You're that French kid staying with the dork-heads, the Smiths.
We're neighbours.
- Me, Lane. - Monique Junet.
- You do speak English? - Moníquet
No? That's OK, l don't speak French.
Monique, l had no idea where you'd gotten off to.
You shouldn't make me wory.
- Lane... - Ricm?
You've made Monique's...acquaintance.
Yes. She's a delightful girl with a firm grip.
Mother will pick us up at the entrance.
She'll be disappointed if we aren't at the entrance of the school.
Ricm, you wait in the front of the school.
When Mom gets here, honk the horn.
Monique and l will continue our conversation.
You should not upset Mother...ever!
l guess people do a lot of hand-shaking in France!
Myer! l want to let you know there's an opening on the water ballet team.
l can make a call if you want.
(MOCKING LAUGHTER)
Monique! Why aren't you with Ricm? Monique!
Well, nice meeting you. Goodnight. Parlez-vous...?
- Why weren't you there? - l told her, Mom.
- Don't you understand English? - Bye!
Two dollars!
(CREEPY MUSIC)
Two dollars!
Key!
- Hi, Lane. How was your date? - They're after me!
(MUSIC AND CHATTER)
(SUDDEN SILENCE)
Happy New Year.
(MUSIC AND CHATTER RESUME)
- Where's Lane? - He just came in.
He went skiing with Charles De Mar. l think he's in the shower.
# In me you see a man alone... #
What's taking him? Lane!
l got him this job. l don't want him to be late.
# A man who lístens to the tremblíng of the trees
# Wíth sentímental ease
# In me you see a man alone
# Behínd the wall he's learned to call hís own
# A man who stíll goes walkíng ín the raín... #
Lane? You better...
Myer...
- So you're Al Myer's kid? - Yes, l am.
- You look pretty stupid to me. - Thank you.
Let's see if you have any brains.
- You take the meat. Understand? - Yeah.
- Pat it into pate ball. - Push it into pate ball.
No, this is a push.
This is a pat.
Take the pate ball and put it on the tray.
Put on this hat. You see that sign out there?
You wear it with pride. Put it on!
Ow!
You gotta have pride and class in this business. You understand?
- What's that? - Those are the keys.
l want you here 6 a.m. Saturday morning.
This place has to be swept before the breakfast crew get here.
Roger.
- Where you going? - To wash my hands.
- Wash your hands on your own time! - Yes, sir.
- Fat pig! - What?
Pat pig.
Eveybody wants some!
l'll show you what eveybody wants!
(THUNDERCLAP)
Mad! Mad! Me, a fool!
(MANIC LAUGH)
lt's alive!
# Oh, yeah!
# You can't get romantíc on a subway líne
# Conductor don't líke ít Says you're wastíng your tíme
m But everybody wants some
# l want some too
# Everybody wants some Baby, how about you?
# l took a mobíle líght Iookíng for a moonbeam
# Yeah, you stand ín líne You got lost ín a jet-stream
# But everybody wants some l want some too #
Myer!
(CLANG)
Oops.
Buenos días!
(SNORTS LIKE A PIG)
Looking really good today, buddy. Looking real good.
Goon.
All right!
This is it!
Whaaa...
Whoa...! Ah!
(TV) Look, a fallíng star!
Make a wísh! If you wísh on a fallíng star, ít wíII come true...
- What díd you wísh? - l can't tell you.
Lane, l know thís ís awkward, me beíng a cartoon and all.
l was just wonderíng how you'd feel íf l took out Beth.
- Matches... - Lane, where have you been?
We've all been waiting for you. Come and sit right down here.
- Have you met Monique? - Hi.
ln honour of our special guest, l've created Dinner ''Mon Doux''.
First, we have...Franch fries!
And...Franch dressing!
And...Franch bread!
And to drink...Peru!
You really do go to the outer limits to make an impression!
Monique, enjoying your stay in our town?
Are you enjoying your stay in our town?
- She doesn't speak English. - Course she does.
- Are you enjoying your stay...? - She don't speak a word.
l thought these students had to speak some English!
As we're discovering in our house,
you don't need words to speak the ''international'' language.
- Right, Ricm? - Uh?
The ''international'' language!
You know!
Love, the language of love!
Monique and Ricm have a regular cross-continental romance brewing.
Him? And her? That makes sense.
Pardonne-moi. Où sont les toilettes?
- What's that mean? - S'il-vous-plaît?
l think she wants to use the bathroom.
lt's down the hall second door...on the left, !Monique.
Jennifer, this is fabulous liqueur.
Reminds me of the moonshine Ricm's dead papa used to make.
- God bless him! - Mrs Smith, no, wait!
l'm sory your mom blew up, Ricm. Doctor said she'd be OK.
l guess she just won't be able to eat any spicy foods for a while.
Oh, no. Not now.
- What do they want? - A race.
- Lane Myer, the kid from Greendale. - Here's a good example.
Two brothers. One speaks no English.
The other learned English from watching sports.
Which is better? Speaking no English or speaking Howard Cosell?
The chances seem slim that this once great has the nerve,
the desire to win.
You must obey the speed limits. A car is not a toy.
- We're tanking, guys! - Myer takes the lead.
- Thís could go on Myer's ríght. - Lane Myer, slow down!
Lane Myer takes the lead!
lt's close, very, very closet
Oh, my God! Ricm's dead! Ricm, are you dead?
l think he's dead. Monique, l'm sory.
l'm sory l didn't...
(SHE LAUGHS)
l'm telling my mom.
(CLANKING)
See you later.
Ever since l got my licence, they've been after me.
lf l had my Camaro running, l would blow those boys off the street!
(PIG NOlSES)
Looks good, huh?
After my mom's cooking, you'll be able to tolerate anything.
There they are!
My mom means well. Cooking's her new thing.
She cooks all the time. It's a lot better than it used to be.
Buenos días!
Bonjour. Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?
l'm gonna be picking a new captain for the ski team on Sunday.
All you gotta do to be captain, Myer, is beat me.
The ty-outs won't be the same if you're not there...champ.
So, are you and Myer talking about what a great lover he is?
She only speaks French, Roy. She doesn't speak imbecile.
Myer, there's one language that l speak that all women understand.
Just ask your last girlfriend.
Would you like to learn some new words?
- Shit! Stupid! - Pardonne-moi! Je suis stupide!
- What's going on? - Nothing!
Myer's frog girlfriend is as much of a clod as he is!
You think you're such a tough guy! l could out-ski you any day!
- Really? - You want a race, l'll take you on.
- Sure. - From the K-1 2, champ!
Chicken!
- What did you say? - Any time, you name it.
- You're digging your own grave. - No one has to know.
- Just me and you. - Sunday, high noon.
You're on.
(PA) Thís just ínt
Lane Myer wíll be racíng Roy Stalín down K-1 2 thís Sunday at 1 2 noon.
(CHEERS AND WHISTLES)
l must be brain-damaged. l'm gonna race, lose and die.
Est-ce que la voiture ne marche pas?
- That? - La voiture.
The Camaro? l was telling you about it. It doesn't work. Nothing works.
My brother's building a space shuttle out of household appliances.
That'll work. l can't get that out the drive.
l'll talk to you later. l gotta go.
Smitty! Yo, Smitty!
How's it going? Here's the ski you called about.
You're all mangled! Did you get hit by a truck?
No, l was tying to ski the K-12. After the Olympics, it looked easy.
You gotta be a moron to ty to ski that run. You know what l mean?
- Yeah. Charge it. - Have a nice day.
This is as bad as it will ever get.
(THUMPING)
l want my two dollars!
Two dollars! l want my two dollars!
No! l can't swim!
No!
Hi, Monique.
Something wrong, Monique?
Nice talking to you.
Yes, something is wrong!
This - how you say - dork-head
is an unleashed sex fiend!
Ricm will not leave me alone!
He thinks l am his love goddess, his prostrate. Non! Prostitute.
Holy shit! You big faker! You speak English!
But of course l speak English. l speak vey good English.
l will not speak Mrs Smith's - qu'est-ce qu'elle dit? -
...''international language of love'' with this reptilian son.
- Mon Dieu! - Well, honk my hooter!
l don't believe it. You've understood eveything?
lf you were with a family like that,
the less you spoke, the happier you would be.
l never thought of that.
l thought if Casanova and l had nothing to say, he'd go away.
lnstead, he uses it as a chance to put his testicles all over me!
- His what? - How you say? Octopus? Testicles?
Tentacles, N, T, tentacles.
- Tentacles. - There's a difference.
All l want is to come to the States and see Dodgers' Stadium.
Now all l see is that...that face in my door evey time l move.
The Dodgers, huh? You have a pretty good pitching arm.
What else is there of interest in this state but the Dodgers?
l don't know. You might find a nice friend.
You do have friends in France?
You know, friend! Friend!
- You will not tell? - That you're a Dodgers fan?
- That l speak English! - Cross my heart and hope to die.
- Do you? - Not at the moment.
Monique! Do you know what time it is? Get in before you catch your death!
Jesus!
You are my friend.
- Goodnight. - Good luck.
ls that Myer boy bothering you?
Little Ricm's been looking all over for you! We've been worried sick!
(SHATTERING GLASS)
(DOGS BARKING)
(RADlO: ''LIKE TO KNOW YOU WELL'')
- Hello? - Bonjour!
- Hi. - Comment allez-vous?
No, l already had breakfast. What are you doing to my car?
What are you doing to my Camaro?
My car is already screwed up as it is!
- Screwed up, eh? - Yeah, vey.
You got my car running!
- You brought it back from the dead! - From the dead? Not entirely.
Wait, can you put that back in? l mean, together, where it goes?
l am sure you will do it.
l fear tools. l made a birdhouse. The Housing Committee condemned it.
- l can't... - l cannot do it is your middle name!
- Help me push this into the garage. - OK.
# People wanna talk about the future Don't wanna Iínger on the past
# Just wanna reach the real you ínsíde
# forget cold glances and rejectíon Leave the thíngs that separate
# Buíld on a trust that we can stand on
# Líke to get to know you well Líke to get to know you welI
# Líke to get to know you well So we can be one
m We can be one together
# Líke to get to know you well Líke to get to know you welI
# Líke to get to know you well So we can be one
m We can be one together
# Líke to get to know you well Líke to get to know you welI
# Líke to get to know you well So we can be one
m We can be one together... m
l think you're kind of remarkable. How did you learn to do all this?
Some things are not that hard to understand. Like you, for instance.
You think about ways of killing yourself but never do it.
- Why is this? - Isn't that kind of personal?
But l have told you all the details of my sex life with Ricm Smith!
l figured you could explain this dramatic death wish.
l used to go out with this girl named Beth.
l thought l loved her.
She dumped me. l guess l just thought l couldn't live without her.
You would die to get the attention of...this woman?
You know, there are better ways of getting attention.
She dumped me for this real slimebag, a guy named Stalin.
Stalin! Stalin! l race Stalin tomorrow! Oh, my God!
- l have to get to a cave! - This is what l speak of!
This is good way of getting this attention. Beat him!
Beat him? l can't beat him! l can't!
All you need is a small taste of success. You will find it suits you.
(ENGINE STARTS)
# Yeah!
m Now, when l was a young boy
m At the age of fíve
m My mother saíd l was gonna be
# The greatest man alíve
# But now l'm a man
# Way past menty-one
# Want you to belíeve me, baby
- # l have lots of fun - (sHRIEKs)
# l'm a man
m l spell ''mmm''
# ''Aaa'', chíld
# ''Nnn''
m That represents man
# No ''B''
# ''O'' chíld,
# ''Y'' That means mannísh boy
# l'm a man
m l'm a full grown man
# l'm a man
# l'm a natural-born lovers' man
# l'm a man
# l'm a rollín' stone #
# What ís thís strange relatíon takíng lífe
# Innocent
# To an unknown destínatíon
m And suddenly
# l don't know where l am
m But Iíke a tremor or a spark
m Somethíng's happeníng ín my heart m
One minute.
# l've been arrested by you Take me ín... #
Voilà!
# fínally captured by you By you, by you
# Take me ín
# l've been arrested by you Take me ín... #
Momento.
l got these for Christmas.
Bon appétit.
l wanted to thank you for eveything.
Merci buckets.
l forgot the most important thing!
Look at this! How am l supposed to live through this?
All you do is go that way, really fast.
lf something gets in your way, turn!
Watch! It's no sweat!
Now you!
Hell, if you can do it...
Aa-aargh... !
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ah! Aah...!
Lane!
Lane, are you all right?
You're mad about me.
No, l'm OK, really. Nothing's broken. It's just a little... Thank you.
m l can see thíngs ín you
# l thínk l belíeve ín
m And you know l can feel love happen
# And l can make ít shíne
# 'Cause the líght 'Cause the Iíght ít shínes ín you
# 'Cause the líght 'Cause the Iíght ít shínes ín you m
(LAUGHING)
Sory about that.
l'm telling you, Lane,
practically eveybody in Northern California is around this mountain,
waiting to see one Lane Myer tackle this totally untamed slope,
dead or alive!
So get the lead out. That is all.
- l guess this is it. - Please hury.
We have unfinished business. Do not forget.
- Huh? - Language lessons.
- You're gonna teach me French? - The international language.
Kick his ass.
Shit!
l want my two dollars!
Oh, my God!
Two dollars!
l want my two dollars!
The guy chickened out. He's just a geek.
- Lísten, he aín't gonna show up! - Course not. Shall we pack it up?
No, l might as well break one more record.
- We'll set the synchros for you. - OK, we're ready to send Roy down.
- Myer's not going to show. - Count me down!
- Myer, you don't know when to quit! - Myer's on the hill!
- Two dollars! - Go!
Go!
He's skiing on one ski!
Two dollars!
- There's something following them! - What?!
Two dollars!
l want my two dollars!
- l want my two dollars! - Not now!
Get lost! Get out of here! Take a hike, brat!
Aa-aah... !
Two dollars...
They're coming out of the woods!
Come on, little buckaroo! Come on!
(DISTANT CHEERING)
You fiend! You're the hottest thing since sunburn!
- Nice ty. - Get lost.
Lane, you really are the best!
We've been worried, Monique.
What are you doing? Do you know how Iong a drive it is? We're going home.
Excuse me!
This is a sublime metamorphosis
of the Lane Myer the crowds were expecting to see
at Brodie Mountain today.
Perhaps you can tell us what brought on
such an enchanting, exhilarating feat.
Language lessons!
Language lessons.
lnspired words from a man who knows how to ski.
You little French tramp!
l don't know what Ricm sees in you! What are you doing with her?
- She's coming with me. - With us!
You would be wise to do as Mother says.
Ricm, do something to him!
Son of a bitch!
Come on, nail the sucker!
What are you doing to him?
Come on! That's the boy!
Ha!
Come on!
- Aa-aah... ! - Ya-aah... !
Oh...!
Au revoir!
Herakler - evenifthereisnotomorrow@gmail.com